From PAIN to PEACE

We often get addicted to our pain; that’s the nature of it. Sometimes, no matter how much it hurts and kills us from inside, we choose to delve into it and let it linger. One such type of pain is ‘Choosing to hold grudges, choosing to not forgive, choosing to hold resentment’.

These days people throw around the word ‘forgive’ very casually, as if it is something that is super easy and can be achieved with the blink of an eye. But only those, who had to forgive without apologies, who had to forgive without closure, who had to forgive when they were burning from inside, know what it really takes to forgive. Forgiveness takes strength. Forgiveness takes patience. And most important of all, forgiveness takes ‘the ability to see a higher perspective’. Allow me to take you through it.

Let me first take you through the meaning of forgiveness. You might think it is very easy, why am I giving you a definition of a concept like some teacher. But trust me when I say this, most people out there don’t really understand what it really means to forgive. And who am I to teach you the definition of forgiveness? Well, I am someone who had no other option but to forgive in the darkest of a situation. I am someone who had to forgive without closure. I am someone who had to forgive without any apologies. And I am someone who knows how ‘liberated’ it makes you feel when you actually forgive, when you let go in the truest and highest sense of it all. Take it from me, the transition from ‘pain to peace’ is so liberating and teaches you so much about life, that you would not want to miss on choosing to forgive.

“FORGIVENESS” means letting go and releasing. But releasing what, really? Releasing the burden of the negative emotions off you. Releasing yourself of the captive of the person’s (or situation’s) hurt and actions. Releasing yourself of the cage you have put yourself in as a result of someone else’s actions. Forgiveness means diving deep into the higher perspective. It means understanding the person who hurt you and having the compassion to understand the reason behind their actions. Does this mean you let them enter your life again? NO. Does this mean you give them a second chance? NO. Does this mean you forget whatever happened? NO. Does this mean that whoever hurt you got away with their actions and karma did not visit them? NO. When I say understanding the person and having compassion, what I mean is that, their actions were a reflection of who they are, of what is the core of them. Their actions have everything to do with them and nothing at all to do with you.

Have you ever heard of the phrase, “HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE”? A person who doesn’t know better, a person who has never seen or felt kindness, a person who has been hurt like crazy before, a person who was never taught how to act right, a person who doesn’t know how not to hurt others, a person who never healed, how and why would you be mad at this person? If anything, bless them, really. This really is my mantra,’ forgive till the point where you find it in your heart to bless that person’. I have done that and it feels great! A person acts in whatever way he/she does basis on their understanding of things, right? All their actions are about them and never about you! What I am trying to say is that, when a person hurt you in any way whatsoever, it was not about you. Your partner cheated on you? It is about them, their beliefs, their morals, their everything. Your best friend bitched about you? It just shows who she is as a person. Your brother took away all the property by malice? Speaks volumes about his insecurities and his upbringing. You see how, anything a person does, is about them, never about you. When we try to understand a person’s perspective with compassion, it helps us see things from a higher perspective and it removes the cloud that was formed in front of us vision that was formed as a result of the hurt. Holding resentment and not choosing to forgive also hinders your growth in life. You might feel stuck in life in any or all areas of your life as a result of holding resentment and choosing not to forgive!

If I have to put in a single statement why you should consider forgiving it would be this- ‘forgive because you deserve to set yourself free, forgive for yourself.’ Forgiveness brings with itself a sense of calm and liberation and peace that is worth all the work you have to put in while forgiving.

A few things that really help me with my process of forgiving are-

1)    Writing in-depth forgiveness letter. Writing and journaling really help you vent everything out and make you feel free. Also, you can say whatever you want to say to the person without actually saying it.

2)    Asking myself, ‘what is this person trying to teach me? Why is he/she playing the bad cop in my life?’ Almost every time, the bad cop in our lives on earth here, is actually our friend in the spirit world. Every person/situation is trying to teach us the life lessons that we have come here on earth to learn. The bad cops in our lives here have a soul contract with us to teach us those lessons. Learn your lessons from all those people and situations and see how light it would make you feel!

3)    Working through my belief systems and negative thought patterns because everything that is happening in my life (or anyone else’s life) is a result of my thoughts manifesting into reality! So, every time a person triggers me or hurts me or betrays me, I know that it is about me, not the other person and I need to learn my lessons and work on myself and my belief systems. This has really helped me stop playing the blame game and stop victimising myself.

4)    The most important thing I do is, seek professional help or at times do a thetahealing session for myself. Please ask for help if need be. It is good to have someone help you navigate through things and help you forgive!

5) Above everything, first, FORGIVE YOURSELF, PLEASE.

All this that I have been talking about comes from the concept of ‘RADICAL FORGIVENESS’, which means that ‘forgiveness is about shifting one’s perspective to see the situation in a new light. Rather than viewing ourselves as the victim of other’s wrongdoing, we recognise that every experience-no matter how painful-has a purpose in our personal growth.’

Makes sense?

There is a book ‘Radical forgiveness’ by Colin Tipping. You can read through it to get to know more about this. Forgiveness is a blessing and is absolutely non-negotiable. I am a Thetahealing Practitioner and Growth Coach and I can help you shift from a place of pain to that of peace. Let us do it together. Get in touch with me to know more and book your session today!

May you find the strength and courage to forgive and set yourself free. You deserve it, my love.

Love always,

Your Growth Coach

Preet Anvvani